the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Randomize
