i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
