I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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