I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wish you could order shots online.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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