Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
