if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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