you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
