I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
