Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
