Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
