Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
