I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
