I wish I could punch you in the face.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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