If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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