Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
