..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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