i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
