You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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