what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
