Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it's like heaven, but drunker
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
