We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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