i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
