My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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