I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
