we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
