I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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