Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
