I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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