my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Randomize
