I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
