why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
