my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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