remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
