Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
