real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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