I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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