So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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