if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
