Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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