Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
