I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He is an equal opportunity slut.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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