just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
