i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
