I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
