I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
