moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
