In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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