we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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