She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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