Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
