he wants to bone in the snuggie
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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