How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
